i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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