Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Green mimosas i think yes
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
