Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
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