This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
