There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
