apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
