How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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