my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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