what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
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