White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
