Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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