:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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