So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
