Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
