i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
