You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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