windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
