dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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