Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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