Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
