that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
he quoted the bible to break up with me
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
