You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Everything about him screamed your future.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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