My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
