I have demons in me.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize