we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize