Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Come share oat with me in your robe
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
