shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
