Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
