He is an equal opportunity slut.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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