i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
