Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
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