Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
home. puking in laundry basket.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
as a side note pls kill me
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
