I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
