So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
