There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
