I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
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