Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
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