Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Let's paint friendship bongs
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
is that a dick in a sweater?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
