Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Randomize