yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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