ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
