You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
