i always forget guys have bellybuttons
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
