He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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