well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
