The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
