We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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