she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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