You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
