I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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