ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
tell me about the eggs
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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