how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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