So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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