is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
