He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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