I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
