WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
