Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
