the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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