I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
