You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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