Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
