i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize