I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Why is your signature on my underwear?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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