I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
