you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
