that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
