ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
